A couple had been married for 60 years, and throughout their life they had shared everything. They loved each other deeply. They did not keep secrets from one another, except for a small shoe box that was kept in the top shelf of her closet. After they were married, she asked her husband not to look inside and never ask questions about its contents.
For 60 years the man honored his wife’s request. In fact, he forgot about the box until one day when his wife grew gravely ill, and the doctors were sure she had no way of recovering. So, the man, putting his wife’s affairs into order, remembered that box in the top of her closet, got it down, and brought it to her at the hospital. He asked her if perhaps now they might be able to open it. She agreed. They opened the box, and inside were two crocheted dolls and a roll of money that totaled $95,000. The man was astonished.
The woman told her husband that the day before they were married, her grandmother told her that if she and her husband were ever to get into an argument with one another, they should work hard to reconcile, and if they were unable to reconcile, she should simply keep her mouth shut and crochet a doll. The man was touched by this, because there were only two crocheted dolls in the box. He was amazed that over 60 years of marriage, they apparently had had only two conversations that they were unable to reconcile. Tears came to his eyes as he thought of their love together. Then he asked about the roll of money. “What’s with this?” he asked. His wife said, “Well, every time I crocheted a doll, I sold it to a local craft fair for five dollars.” (David Daniels, from his sermon “Mediation”, www.PreachingToday.com)
I suppose that couple found a way to remain happily in love and stayed unified for 60 years, but I’m not sure that was the best way.
I invite you to turn with me to Philippians 2:1-4 as we celebrate our unity with Jesus Christ on this occasion.
Philippians 2:1-2 “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.”
As we look as this passage, it should be obvious that Christianity is about sharing our lives together as the family of God. Through our relationship with the Spirit, we are encouraged and comforted, to participate with Him. Because we have an affection for Him as a result we must have as much affection for others. In verses 1 and 2, Paul piles up at least 3 different descriptions of how we should love one another. But first, our Christian fellowship begins with true love graciously given to us by God Himself.
Did you see where the encouragement is? It’s “in Christ.” Did you see where the participation is? It’s “in the Spirit.” We’re not talking about our expressions of love for each other in verse 1. We’re talking about the kind of love that comes from God Himself. Our relationships are first of all kept by…and begin with…
GOD’S LOVE FOR US.
The communion table reminds us of the extent of Jesus’ sacrificial love. The word for love is “agape” and it means willfully sacrificing for the best for others. The Lord’s great compassion for us is described in John 3:16 and 17 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
God’s deep affection for us should cause us to find out why He came to earth. It should cause us to realize our need for a Savior. He came to pay our penalty of sin against God and through Jesus’ death we are forgiven and embraced into His family.
In 2013, Joel and Julia Graham attempted to adopt a young Hispanic boy named Victor. After living with the Graham family for a while, Victor started to open his heart, but then he suddenly drew back. He started to refuse to eat meals with the family, fought with his future sister, and rebelled against Julia, his future mother.
Julia began to doubt the decision to finalize the adoption. At one point, Julia thought: “We’ve had all this time together, and it just doesn’t seem like we’re progressing… He just doesn’t like me. At this point, it’s so hard to know that that’s going to change… [maybe] I shouldn’t be his mom.”
Some point later Julia thought to tell Victor, “[We’re] going to choose a date to finalize your adoption. Do you know what that means?”
“Not really,” Victor replies.
Julia says, “That means we’re going to court, all of us together, and we’re going to stand in front of a judge and we will promise to take care of you. And we’ll sign some papers and we’ll be your mom and dad from then on. Does that sound good to you?”
Victor says “Sure” even though it’s clear he doesn’t understand what adoption means.
Then a day happened when Victor finally understood the significance of his adoption, as he’s racing through the house playing football, Victor accidentally smashes an expensive vase. Julia races into the room, Victor says, “I’m sorry. I’ll pay for it.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to pay for it,” says Julia. “Let’s just go back to the no-football-in-the-house rule.”
Victor then asks, “So you’re not going to change your mind about adopting me?”
Julia responds, “No. I’ll never change my mind.”
Unable to wipe the smile off his face, Victor responds, “Okay.” And from that day forward, he bonded with his new family. (Parenthood, Ron Howard, creator and executive producer, “One Step Forward, Two Steps Back,” Season 4, Episode 14; www.PreachingToday.com)
In the context of love, Victor learned to love his new family; and that’s where we learn to love our family, the family of God, as well. It’s in the context of God’s love for us!
The Bible says that God adopts us into His family (Romans 8:15-17). Now, like Victor, we all break the vase at times. We disobey God and make a mess of our lives; but even then, God still loves us, and He will never take us out of His family.
Let that truth grip your heart. Believe God loves you and then you will be able to form a joyful bond with others in the family.
This truth is essential to having a joyful experience with others. It starts when you and I know God’s love. Then, based on that love, we can…
DEMONSTRATE THE SAME LOVE TOWARDS OTHERS.
We can have the same heart. We can share the same compassion.
God’s love unites us and the result is that we will have “the same love” (vs.2), and we are in “full accord”, literally, we fellowship together in spirit.
All too often, when there is conflict, we want to defend ourselves; we want to give people reasons why we’re not at fault. But true reconciliation begins not with reasoned arguments, but with sharing one another’s pain, with understanding at a deep level how the other person truly feels.
“Feelings are not right or wrong; they are part of having a relationship with others. We can joyfully share our lives together when we first know God’s love. Then we must…
HAVE THE SAME MIND TOWARDS OTHERS AS JESUS HAS SHOWN.
Verse 2 talks about “being of the same mind… and of one mind.” It sounds like double-talk, but in the Greek language it literally says, “Set your mind on the same… one mindedness.”
Now, what is that?” Well, it’s acting in a way that brings honor to Jesus Christ. Verse 5 says, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” That mind is about bringing honor to God in our relationships. The reason why Jesus paid the price of sin is told in verse 11 “that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” We shouldn’t be focused on our own agendas. It’s about His glory, that is all that matters in the resolution of any conflict, not whether or not I get my way.
In 1990, John Gottman carefully observed 130 couples over several years, which he divided into two groups: One group he called the “masters” – they were still happily married after six years. The other group he called the “disasters” – they had either broken up or were chronically unhappy in their marriages.
What Gottman discovered was that throughout the day, married couples made requests for connection, what he called “bids”. For example, a husband who is a bird enthusiast might notice a goldfinch fly across the yard. He tells his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird!” He’s not just commenting on the bird; he’s requesting a response from his wife – a sign of interest or support – hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.
The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband. Though the bird-bid might seem minor, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the marriage. The bird was important for the spouse and the question is whether the other spouse will recognize and respect that bid.
People who turned toward their partners in the study responded by engaging the bidder, showing interest and support in the bid. Those who turned away responded minimally, ignored the bid, or expressed contempt, saying things like, “That’s stupid” or “Stop bothering me.” These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow up had only a rate of “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. The couples who were still together after six years had the “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. That’s nine times out of ten, they shared their partner’s interests. (Emily Esfahani Smith, “Masters of Love,” The Atlantic, 6-12-14; www.PreachingToday.com)
Now, imagine when we choose to think about Christ together. When Christ is the focus of our relationships in life and especially in the church, He brings us together like nothing else can! All of a sudden, our personal agendas become less important than admiring and honoring Him together, much less than admiring a bird together.
We can joyfully share our lives together, when we know God’s love. Then, learn to demonstrate the same love for each other. Then have the same mind and finally experience joyful fellowship by…
SERVING EACH OTHER UNSELFISHLY.
We can share the same actions the same behavior and conduct. Specifically, we can encourage and comfort one another.
Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”
The word for “selfish ambition” is a word used of politicians who seek political office for no other reason but for the power and prestige it brings them. And “conceit” speaks of a person who’s proud. Some translations actually use the phrase, “empty conceit.” In other words, their pride is unprofitable or worthless. The substance of that person’s life has nothing to be proud of.
When we promote ourselves, and forsake others our focus is not on honoring Christ, when we humbly put the needs of others ahead of our own, we demonstrate true “agape” love; doing what is best for another person.
Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
We need to be the example of selfless service and be the example of true humility, which is absolutely necessary for any healthy relationship in any family and especially in the family of God.
Our joy in our relationships begins by knowing God’s love. Then, we learn to feel the same; think the same and share in the same care for others.
There is an old Rabbinical story that says, when the world was young, two brothers shared a field and a mill, each night dividing the grain they had ground together during the day. One brother lived alone; the other had a wife and a large family.
Now, the single brother thought to himself one day, “It isn’t fair that we divide the grain evenly. I have only myself to care for, but my brother has children to feed.” So, each night he secretly took some of his grain to his brother’s granary to see that he was never without.
But the married brother said to himself one day, “It isn’t really fair that we divide the grain evenly, because I have children to provide for me in my old age, but my brother has no one. What will he do when he’s old?” So, every night he secretly took some of his grain to his brother’s granary. As a result, both of them always found their supply of grain mysteriously replenished each morning.
Then one night they met each other halfway between their two houses. They suddenly realized what had been happening and embraced each other in love. (Belden Lane, “Rabbinical Stories,” Christian Century 98:41, 12-16-81)
When believers come together like that, it’s a holy and beautiful thing! May that kind of unity characterize the celebration of this table and bring honor and glory to Jesus Christ our great SAVIOR.
1 Corinthians 11:23-26
23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread;
24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”
25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.
We broke our tradition today. Normally we take a special offering following our participation in the Lord’s Supper. This offering supplies for the needs for our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is a voluntary offering and we ask that you give as you are led. Please send your love gift through the mail or drop your gift off when you are at church. Please mark it for the deacon fund. Our giving is based on the Scriptural text:
I John 3:17-18; 23–24 “But whoever has the world’s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in Him? …let us not love with word or with tongue, but in-deed and truth. Now this is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. And the people who keep His commandments abides in Him, and He in them. And we know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.